Can I forget it?or They don even want to forgive me?

It been a long time i didn't updated my blog since last month.Actually i did hope there nothing happened between me n my friends around me.That is why i prefer to be alone rather than mix with friends but as u know we have to be socialable to mix with all kinds of ppl.I really dont know are they trying to escape from me or there still a hurt in their heart and i can't to be forgive?I always convince myself not to care all past matters but i am a kind of thinking back past memory.It is hard for me to wipe away bad memory or even sweet memory from me.I do keep it as my sweetest memory that i ever experinced.Beside that,i dont really know to express myself to any1 except he or she really trusted me and can be shared with otherwise i will not do that.Perhap I need time.A long path way for me to go through actually so what i wish to do nw is that juz make myself relax but of course not too relax as i need to study too...God ,Please tell me what to do???I feel like so weak nw.I need a lots of strength to carry on.I worry i might "collapse" in one day.I'm nw trying to be a good christian cz being a good christian is not dat easy as i hav to go through every circumstance that God wants me to experiance.